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Relationships and break-ups
One thing that unites both men and women is the ability to mess up a perfectly good relationship. Unfortunately, we will all have been there and it is not easy. Working your way through heartbreak and saying goodbye to a loved one takes time and a good support network. Aspects of the breakup that you might find particularly hard are dividing joint possessions.
Breaking up from a marriage (or family unit) is considered to be much more emotionally demanding and a lot more complex. Not only do you have to deal with the end of a relationship, but you may need to address the issue of children within the family, pets and of course money.
Take care of the kids
Hopefully everyone would agree that nothing is more important than the children involved in any divorce. Even if they are very young, the divorce, if not handled correctly, can leave them with emotional scars that might never heal. They may end up resenting one or both of the parents and prevent them from seeking their own marital relationship in years to come. Before organising any other details of a divorce it is the only right thing to do to make sure the children are well cared for, understand as much as is necessary and feel loved and supported from both of their parents.
Whilst it might seem important ‘who gets what’ at the end of the relationship, we really want to emphasise that it is always the children that should come first. So before you start on arguing over ownership it is important to care for the kids. Once you feel like the kids are supported as much as possible, you can then move on to start thinking about money and other assets.
It is easy to fall into a game, trying to score points off of each other, to try and get away with the better deal. In these situations it is helpful if you attempt to leave the feelings out of such conversations as much as possible and make rational decisions as best as you can.
Have you tried mediation?
Although talking to a complete stranger about some of your most secret feelings might feel like the last thing you want to do, it might actually help. Mediation offers a neutral platform for you and your partner to discuss important issues and deal with things fairly. If sought early enough, mediation sessions with experts may even lead to quarrels being solved and relationships saved before the need for divorce.
If this is not possible, however, there are many mediation companies that specialise in settlements after break ups. Just Divorce Mediation, for example, offer informal sessions for individuals to discuss their thoughts post break up and try to come to an agreement without seeking the help of solicitors. This ultimately makes the process of divorce a lot cheaper as it avoids some of those expensive legal fees and the amount of time spent in court. Many testify that since couples are able to discuss their feelings in an open and friendly environment, it reduces the amount of tension and the desire for ‘point scoring’. This again can reduce the costs of divorce, not only financially but emotionally too.